When I set out to schedule to run 4 marathons last year it was out of excitement and exhilaration. With the support of friends, coaches and resources like http://colburnbodyconcepts.com, I made it happen. The training went well and I completed my 4 marathons. I’m happy to have set those goals and to have completed them. My last two were a little tougher due to food poisoning the week before the NY marathon and a cold before the Honolulu marathon but I did it!
Clients that I have worked with over the last 15 years are continually looking at their goals for the next year or the next 3 to 5 years. I’ll always remember Watts Wacker giving a presentation about working with companies looking at their next 20 to 100 years. He helped companies look forward, to a future where their people may not even be on earth; He showed them to envision leaving a strategic legacy for the future generations to come. Two years or two hundred, the beginning of the year is great for my clients to set their goals. Many companies have worked on a strategic planning process the prior fall and are starting to implement their goals. Some clients are leading a division or a function and make it a ritual to review their goals while others have work and personal goal that they would like to accomplish. Other clients I work with are reviewing their career and planning for what is next. Where they are in their career path may lead them to choose to work on specific skills or trajectory to get them to where they want to go.
I love setting new goals. This year I’m working on speed. Speed in my running and cycling as well as my swimming. I have a plan and have started to implement it. My schedule is set and I am completing it every day. Since my 2018 sports training goals are different this year, I plan to run only two marathons; NY and Honolulu. I will also swim the 4.4 Chesapeake Bay Swim for redemption (missed it by .4 mile last year). I plant to do the Navesink River and the Provincetown Swim4life Ocean swims again and add two triathlons. I also have a completely new goal this year: A Grand Canyon 4-day trek with the Telos Institute, www.thetelosinstitute.com. I started dreaming of climbing mountains about two or three years ago and here I am hiking my first one.
What are your goals for 2018? Do you have a plan? Are you working on two or three specific goals? Where are you in your career path? What will you strive to accomplish in 2018? If you don’t know what your goals are start dreaming them. What is it that you are passionate about, want to learn, want to get better at….? Your dream might just become reality!
I’m excited about my 2018 goals. Wishing you all great goal setting for 2018 and a great continued journey!
Losing or losing gracefully if you can!
There is something amazing when you watch the 176 cyclists of the Tour the France giving their all day after day. What amazed me most this year was their fearlessness in falling down. Of course this is not what any one of them would like to see happen but they all know that its par for the course. Seeing how some of them were eliminated or injured and could not continue the Tour, put my own basic training (I’m not a professional) and competitions in perspective.
I was taken out of the water at the Chesapeake Bay 4.4-mile swim at the 4-mile point. This was my first time and all I wanted was to just finish the race. Well, it was not to be. How did I react? I was angry, very angry. My reactions are similar to a lot of athletes, professional and non-professionals, as well as leaders. First we can’t believe that we’ve lost, then we get angry, then we negotiate and analyze, and then we move on. Very similar to change models and the grief process. Clearly I needed to bow to the rules and learn that this is just a reflection of where I am physically, the conditions and the fact that it’s my first time. I needed to accept it, go back to my training and try to improve myself.
Some of the cyclists in the Tour de France take it with grace. I also saw one cyclist, upon seeing someone beat him at one of the races, yell out in the pain of not winning. I get it. We should all get it… because like a very smart mentor of mine once asked me “How does it feel to lose?” ….I responded, “Not really good, in fact pretty bad”… “He then followed with, “Get over it.”
This particular mentor said to me, “One thing we don’t study enough of is failure” and asked me to reflect on that. There is so much learning that can come out of studying failures. First, what was the context, what happened at the beginning, middle and end? For sports we may consider, the conditions, the weather, the day itself; for leadership the context, the people involved, the goal and the setbacks. What were you feeling at the beginning, during and after? I think one of the most important lessons in taking the time to look at failure is the learning as well as having compassion for oneself and others.
Many forward-looking organizations are now embracing failures especially when it comes to creating new products. Another context is in coaching. I always give my clients a couple of months of trying out new behaviors and giving them permission to fail. I want them to be able to observe themselves, see if they took the risk and tried the new behavior, and see if they were able to do it. If they failed I ask them to reflect and see if they caught themselves before during or after doing the old behavior. Permission to fail gives them freedom to try out different approaches and take risk. We then review what worked and what did not work in learning this new behavior.
Setbacks and failure can teach you to get better and stronger. Like an ironman colleague shared with me, “When you do an ironman you can bet that something will go wrong so know that before you start.” I haven’t even contemplated attempting this event. I’m still at the marathon level, the swims and just did my first sprint triathlon, but am happy to learn from all my sport colleagues I meet along the way. Back in the spring, while training for the SF Marathon and the upcoming Chesapeake Bay Swim, I fell down and hurt my ankle. I was upset. Acceptance was the first step then coming up with a new plan was next. I was able to focus my training on swimming for a while instead of running since the swim was first. The water was healing for my ankle. I also used Headspace, the meditation app that has a section on Competition and specifically on Rehab. My ankle healed well and I was able to do both the swim and the marathon. Since then I’ve met a lot of non-professional athletes, some are my leadership coaching clients, others not, who have had injuries. All are navigating their injuries as well as they can. My clients run into the same challenges. New changes at their organizations, promotions, demotions, new supervisors, challenging direct reports, difficulty in meeting their goals. Developing competencies such as persistence, agility, resilience and being able to work with ambiguity really can help navigate setbacks.
Learning to fall down and get back up may be my best motto. I’m pretty good at it in work, in sports and in life. I have some clients that don’t end up getting what they want and are stuck in holding a grudge. It’s really getting in their way of being successful. Emotional Intelligence is great but being able to work through difficult emotions is also important. One of my client is in the process of realizing this and knows that working through this would liberate her to start dreaming, hoping and working towards what she is capable of.
Following the Chesapeake Bay Swim I then continued my progress and trained for the San Francisco Marathon. It was a great experience. I’m a slow runner but I like to get to the end and earn my medal. Around the 18th mile I was hoping to make it to the end in time to get a medal. The memories of having been plucked out of the Chesapeake Bay Swim were fresh. I stayed focus, pushed myself some and did complete the San Francisco marathon and celebrated with a medal.
These days I’m focusing on the journey a little more while still wanting to better myself as I’m getting ready for the NY marathon for the first time and the Honolulu marathon for the third time.
Leaders as athletes will fall down, fail and continue to learn from their failures. We can all benefit from slowing down and examining why and what we could do differently next time. That is how one gets better! On to the NY marathon! Wish me luck!
A consulting psychology colleague of mine, Colleen Bastian, who is now an athletic friend as well, really educated me this past February on how to get ready for my upcoming 4.4 mile Chesapeake Bay swim. She said, “Lyne if you really want to prepare for this swim get yourself a coach and join a USMS Master swimming class.”
I did just that. I enlisted Stephanie and Rob Colburn of CBC Endurance Training http://colburnbodyconcepts.com. They create my weekly training plans, not only for preparing me for that swim, but for getting ready for three upcoming marathons; the San Francisco, the New York and the Honolulu marathons. I am now a member of a local college swimming pool, as well as, I joined the Berkeley Aquatic Masters Swimming Club. I also do races in Central Park with the NYRR club and am surrounded with runners every couple of weeks.
This reminds me that getting a coach, or two, is so amazing and gets results!
First, you don’t know what you don’t know!
In working with Stephanie and Rob I have learned new swimming drills, how to gradually build towards my goal, and how to pace my training. With the Masters Swimming Club, I am improving my techniques, which is helping me increase my speed. I also get to be around other swimmers and reap the support of a community. When I start coaching with clients, they are unaware of certain skills, knowledge and/or information that could benefit them on how to improve a behavior or a skill. When they participate in a 360, and acquire feedback on how they are being perceived, they are surprised by some of that feedback. Equipped with this new information they can then create a development plan to address the goals they would like to improve. Clearly for leaders and coaches as well, learning never ends. Getting coached, on all fronts, has opened my eyes about how I am training in so many different ways.
Being focused and discipline pays off!
Setting specific goals, in this instance, the Chesapeake Bay Swim and the upcoming three marathons, is helping me get focused. Getting a training plan, that explicitly describes my daily training, really helps me focus and stay on track. There are reasons I tell my clients to take the time to write in a journal and/or create an excel spreadsheet to track how they are improving.
Most clients choose three coaching goals to focus on and improve. Being able to describe what success will look like once they’ve achieved their goals as well as imagining themselves performing these goals successfully helps one stay motivated and excited about achieving results. Building muscles demands repetitive practice, daily focus and commitment. After a few weeks of following my training, learning new skills and practice I’m starting to see results just like my clients do when they focus, commit and practice on changing a behavior and/or learn new skills. It’s exhilarating to see them grow and learn and to experience it myself and be reminded of how it can feel.
Finally having someone on your side makes a big difference!
I’ve just been feeling more supported on all fronts in getting two coaches, having swimming and running friends and new sport colleagues. I’ve always felt that surrounding yourself with partners, that know more and are better than you at what you do and love the skill you are trying to master, really helps. This just got reconfirmed. To have two coaches championing you forward, believing in you and instructing you in the right direction, is really making a difference in my getting prepared for my sporting events. I’ve been training on the treadmill lately and I’ve been tuning into the GMFT channel as well as basketball. Just watching other athletes is so inspiring. I love coaching my clients and helping them reach their desired goals. I love supporting them during their transformation as they try to be the best they can be. Not long ago in a leadership class I was delivering, two participants seemed defeated that they were not chosen for a position. I recommended that they stay focused on themselves and be the best they can be, and address any challenges that are getting in the way of them achieving their goals. We can’t change others or the world, but with the support of our coaches we can become the best we can be. Staying focused, committed and enlisting the support of coaches can get us where we want to go.
The leadership journey never ends, but wow does it make a difference to enlist the support of a coach or two. I certainly was reminded of that and reminded of the value of getting coached!
If you are in need of coaching and consulting and would like to learn more about our services please continue to our website www.desormeauxconsulting.com or write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
There is something exhilarating when one is in the ocean learning to stand on a surf board. There certainly are lessons to learn while learning to surf.
Pretty much every time I’ve been in Hawaii I’ve taken a surfing lesson. This last time was a little different. I see so many parallels to leadership in everything I do, be it painting, running or what I call my surfing lesson #1.
Leadership lesson #1
My instructor this time, a woman, started right away with leadership lesson #1. “Surfing students who have Ph.D. she said “are too much in their head.” Great I thought; having an M.A. and a Psy. D. won’t help me and she was right. I had no problem catching the wave, knowing when to turn and get ready for it, knowing how to position myself and even getting on my knees, but wow when the wave started taking me fast I was stuck in my head and could not get myself off my knees. It took many waves before I had to tell myself to “push up, get up and do it even if you’re scared”.
Take a risk, let go and just do it!
When my clients are trying on a new behavior they have not tried before it takes them out of their comfort zone. They are afraid that in trying the new behavior they might fail and/or they might fall. Sometimes cognitive defenses show up. “I’ve been doing this, why can’t people see it?” Or “what are people going to think?” Or “it’s going to feel awkward.” My recommendation to them is try the new behavior even though it might feel uncomfortable. Let go and do something different. For example a client of mine who was afraid to speak in meetings started to speak up a little at a time. She also had a colleague who would nudge her under the table to speak up. She is now fully comfortable speaking up at meetings.
Leadership lesson #2
I was in the ocean with my instructor and another student. The other student gave up after two tries. I had just run a marathon and had been doing weight training for two years. The other student did not have the stamina to continue. My mind was racing. The last time I tried this there were more people and a couple of younger students, who were not afraid. I thought if I had more students around me I could get fueled by the competition – or if I saw others able to do it I could be inspired. At a certain point I realized that you just need to muster the strength to get up and force yourself to do it, and I did. I did it twice and it felt incredible.
Be prepared, stop the excuses and don’t be afraid to fail!
My clients are mostly prepared. They are good at what they do and if they are missing professional or business skills they make a plan to get what they need. You need a foundation and knowledge to be able to tackle new skills.
Most excuses my clients have are fear based. I was afraid of falling. After a while I got really good at falling down and even enjoyed it. At a one point, I fell off the board and cut my lip. When I told this story to a couple of people later (my lip was swollen at the time) they all asked me “did you keep going?” With a big smile I said, “yes of course I did”. My lip was like a trophy that day. I was proud that I kept going and was able to stand up twice. I tell my clients continually you get two months of practice or more to fail. I give you full permission to fail when you try and practice the new behavior or behaviors. Many seem to be relieved when getting permission to fail and are then open to trying out the new behavior.
Leadership lesson #3
I was visiting Honolulu to run a marathon with a running friend after 14 years since my last marathon. We had booked a vacation on the North Shore. This was not planned, but when I got to the North Shore of Oahu the Billabong Pipe Masters on Sunset Beach, minutes away from where I was staying, was taking place. Kalani Lodge had mostly surfers staying there and I was surrounded with a TV on the lanai and surfers watching every morning to see is surfing would to take place every day. I got to spend a day watching the competition. I heard stories about where surfers would travel for competition and where were the best waves. It was like stepping into a new world and it was inspiring. I love the ocean. I’ve been doing a 1.4 mile swim every year to raise funds on Cape Cod and have started to do 1 and 2 mile swims in different beach towns in NJ. I’ve signed up for the Honolulu marathon next year and would like to take not 1 but at least 3 surfing lessons next year. I have added New Zealand to my bucket list for my next surfing experience.
Surround yourself with people who are experts and find inspiration!
If my clients are trying to be more strategic or learn to network more, be more organized or learn to be more analytical, I tell them to partner with someone who already is. I also suggest that they get a mentor or a peer that is good in what they are trying to develop. I suggest that they read books on the subject, surround themselves with people who are experts at it and attend meetings, events or conferences on the subject. Immersing yourself in a subject and surrounding yourself with the people who are experts or for whom the new behavior or skill is easy is a great way to grow and learn.
I love learning especially when it involves an exciting new sport. I had no idea I would see so many parallels to leadership. I’m in my 15 year of consulting and coaching and see leadership lessons every time I learn something new.
Here is to my next wave and to your next new leadership behavior you master!!!
If you are in need of coaching and consulting and would like to learn more about our services please continue to review our website www.desormeauxleaderconsulting.com or write to me at email@example.com
I'm a runner and I’m getting ready for a marathon in Honolulu after my last 2 marathons 14 years ago. Most of my runs over the last years have gone pretty well so when this August run did not go as planned and I ended walking the last 3 miles, I felt a little discouraged. I needed to remind myself that once in a while doing a run that’s tougher than the others keeps you humble, reminds you that you are human and prepares you for a longer run that may be even tougher.
Why being a leader is a journey and not a destination.
1. Not every day is going to go as planned. Many of the managers I work with are intelligent and open. Some are organized, others strategic, while others are very good at influencing and building relationships. But even with some of those strengths a curve ball, or a tougher day than usual, can surprise leaders.
2. Stay open to surprises, twist and turns. Leadership, work and life can present us with surprises and unexpected twist and turns. Changes are always happening internally, externally, regionally, nationally and internationally. Leaders have to be prepared, but once in a while they may meet changes, uncertainty and complexity that knock them for a loop. When they do they need to simply get back up, dust off, take a deep breath and keep walking.
3. It’s a new day, everyday. There is a reason why the new day is VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguity) –and that leaders need to be agile, adaptable and flexible with the constant changes. Staying open and ready to meet each day with curiosity and innovation helps us to stay in a discovery and learning mode. Staying stuck in the past, in “how we used to do it” and in old habits and behaviors, just equate to more pain and suffering. Being open, curious and exploring new ways of doing and being is a much more productive way of meeting each day.
4. The learning never ends. If there is one thing that might surprise some of the leaders I work with it is that learning as a leader never ends. This seems to surprise the leaders/managers who are excellent at what they do but may not have thought that there was something new to learn. After a couple of good years and excellent performance, a new challenge or new people may present themselves that can leave the leader feeling like everything has changed.
So what happened? Similar to being a leader, being an avid runner for years I ended up analyzing what went wrong with my run: I got out of the door too fast, did not bring water or gels to replenish and could have used my watch to measure my run/walk ratio since my phone battery could not endure for the whole run.
The week after I ran an 18-mile run, I purchased an iPod so that I could have music for the entire run. That same week, I won an Apple Watch and added an extra watch in case the charge did not last, and importantly, had plenty of gel and liquid.
Like my marathon partner said, "It’s normal to have an off run. They can’t all be great runs. What can you learn from this one?" It’s the same with life and leadership. We have our great days and are not so great days. When we have a couple of not so great days it’s important to hang in there to see what the day, the next week or the next month might bring.
I finished my 18 miles and now feel ready for the Honolulu marathon in December. In the meantime I have many more runs coming up to prepare for this marathon. Like I said being a leader is a journey not a destination. There is more in common between being a leader and training for a marathon than I realized.
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